Tamara Kraljic
👩⚖️ Balancing Motherhood and Big Law: My Transatlantic Insights
I'm Tamara, a U.S.-based attorney and mother of three. After my third son was born during the pandemic, my family and I spent some time in Germany. The different attitudes towards working mothers in Europe compared to the U.S. made me reevaluate my career commitments, especially after noticing my low energy levels upon returning to my full-time job.
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Transcript
Hi, my name is Tamara. I'm an attorney here in the US in big law and corporate law. And my experience of motherhood in the US is very much um Influenced by a comparison with Europe, where I'm originally from and my breakthrough moments came after our 3rd son was born. Um, my husband's also an attorney and we have 3 boys and after my son, my 3rd son was born, he was a pandemic baby. We decided to spend some time, uh, in Europe, uh, in Germany, where most of my family lives. At the time we left with our three sons that were aged 52, and a few months old. And once over there, none of my friends or family members could believe that I had the intention of going back full time um after my sabbatical was over. It struck me as somewhat backward and, and for the men that I spoke to a chauvinistic that they would suggest that I reduce my, my working hours. Um, but once I got back to the US, I actually checked in with my energy levels, and my energy levels were low. And I asked myself why that was. Obviously I had 3 children, but it wasn't just that I had 3 children. It's my energy levels were the result of At that time, over 10 years of billing anywhere between 2000 and 3000 hours per year, my energy levels were low because of many nights, um, after I brought our kids to bed, having to wake up again or setting my alarm so I don't fall asleep so I could finish a memo for a client in the morning. energy levels were depleted because of working during vacation, during get togethers like Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was just tired. There's just not enough vacation time in the US. Particularly for working parents who don't get a break when they're off. energy levels were also low because there was an emotional toll. In addition to my three sons that are healthy, that I'm very grateful for, each of my healthy pregnancies was preceded by a miscarriage. So I was pregnant 6 times in total. And During those pregnancies that ended up in miscarriages. I never told my colleagues I was pregnant in the first trimester as is practice in most workplaces in the US. And I ended up working very hard doing that those times and worked overlooking cramps I. Belly and um I'm sure that the way I worked did not contribute to a healthy pregnancy. So I decided to go back, but not full time, and as a result, I make less than half the amount that I used to make.